How do we exactly define feminism? When we speak of the female gender, do we refer to some living things with oestrogen and progesterone or we talk about half of the human race? I am actually talking about the oppressed hemisphere of humanity who are striving to live their lives to the fullest --- but are not being allowed to do so.
The problem is, when we talk about chivalry, we tend to subtract the soft and humane qualities and emphasise on the uncontrolled strength of a man. Personally I feel that this sense of manhood is a bit overattributed. On one hand, the tender feelings and gentle emotions are deceptively aborted to make the human male a 'complete man'. And on the other hand, the human female is taught to do justice to her femininity by being essentially suave and totally dependent on the opposite sex --- not to speak of the convenience of being a silent object of entertainment for the virile males.
The sinister attempt to suppress humanity, both by the state and by religion, continues. The strong always want to mould the weak according to their needs.... it's been a major aspect of history of the human race.
Do we anticipate a change? Or is it the same rotten story of old wine in a new bottle?
I can perceive change. But change is not brought by organising seminars or by slogans with revolutionary catchlines.
One has to change one's mindset, which can alter one's thoughts. And thoughts can be changed by characters. .... characters that have fought for their own existence. A character does not speak a thousand words....... it speaks of self respect, it speaks of it's inimitable existence within the barriers of time and society. A character stands alone, leaves it's own signature, fighting with the odds of the community. A character is just like a river --- which breaks one shore and at the same time, builds the other. Mere theories cannot bring change.
Allow me to dwell in the coveted mythology of our ancient country. The character of Sita astonishes me. Whether in the captivity of Ravana in Lanka or in Ayodhya, in the refuge of Kanwamuni, never did she compromise with her self esteem. Her sufferings and joy are not important. If physical satiety was the only parameter of success, then a lazy couch potato resting in some cosy nook of this world, would be considered more successful than the man who risked his life and accepted huge difficulties to climb the highest peak of this planet.
When she reached the most crucial juncture of her life, Sita decided to quit the stage with dignity. This is called revolt ..... a silent protest against an attack on her self respect.
The magnitude and intensity of the protest depends on the demand of time and situation. Otherwise all noise goes in vain. All exercise gathers dust.... bearing no fruitful result.
As Tagore mentioned in his verses....how some consider ostentatious strokes in a lake as expertise in swimming, rather than the capacity to beat the waters smoothly.
So, my friends, I consider the silent, unglorified battle to keep one's dignity alive, as the most intense and difficult battle to fight. I feel that the daunting efforts of those unsung characters with the highest self esteem, will drop like gentle dew on the imperceptible soul of human race and wash away all the ignorance. I have to speak about them as much as I can. In that sense, I am a feminist. ... not once, but a million times.
I never did want to see my mother play the role of my dad. I accept her as my creator. Thus she justifies her existence. ... of being a successful and true Mom.
Today, when I think of her as well as my Grandma (they are no more ), I perceive them as two complete women with clear thoughts, explicit morals and intense discipline. This discipline and self restraint are the two pillars of self respect. If you don't learn to stop, some accident will stop you.... or some stranger stops you from stumbling, but at the same time, takes control of your future steps. Later, he becomes your weakness. But that, certainly, cannot be the end.
The illusion of supremacy and incapability.... both can be dangerous. In this world, there are two categories of people. Some will provoke you, while others will oppress you. You should be acquainted with the exact measure of your ability as well as your limitations, so that you can have a smooth walk on the pathway of life and not stumble every now and then.
Independence is not freedom to do whatever you like. It is all about creation and maintenance of a responsible atmosphere for performing a responsible act.
I will continue to write about those battles.... even if there is no one to read it. Otherwise, how do I face my conscience? I am indebted to my mother for lending me her womb, her milk, her selfless love and this debt is greater than the debt of my sexual identity, my manhood.
I have no intention to hurt anyone. I am uttering this with utmost humility, that I can imagine this world with one Sita, but not with a thousand Ramas, as my imagination betrays me in absence of that single woman.(This I've learnt from the teachings of Swami Vivekananda.)
And lastly, there are no imputations to the contrary, that this world will never be freed from the chain of malice, cruelty and barbarism. We have to accept this fact before the battle starts. We have to accept the fact that evil cannot be totally erased from the face of this world, but at least we can prevent it to spread it's ominous wings over the human race.
[Translated By: Sukanya Bandyopadhyay]
[মূল প্রবন্ধঃ নারীবাদ আর স্বচিন্তা]